Goodbye, The Beloved Country

In August 2010, I boarded a plane to Chicago in which would be the beginning of my year living abroad.  I had to say goodbye to all my friends and family, knowing that I wouldn’t see them on Christmas, my birthday, Easter, or any other special holidays.  At that time, it was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to experience.  I was leaving all that I knew, and leaping into an unknown world.  But now, a year later, the goodbyes I have to experience with my South African hosts hurt worse than those a year ago.  I find difficulty leaving the people who have supported me during my most vulnerable times, and I cannot grasp the reality of this experience coming to an end.

When I left to come to South Africa, I didn’t expect to fall in love.  But I have felt a love stronger than any love I’ve felt in my past.  I’ve fallen in love with the generosity, hospitality and Ubuntu seen in every South African I’ve met.  I’ve fallen in love with Jesus like never before.   I’ve fallen in love with the rolling hills of KwaZulu-Natal, the golden velds of the Free State, and the crashing waves along the coasts.  I’ve fallen in love with the world’s most marginalized people who have taught me so much.  And my love for the majestic Maluti Mountains of Lesotho has been renewed, and so has my love for its people.  Now my heart truly belongs to Africa.

This past year has been the most challenging, difficult, stressful, agonizing and unpredictable year of my life...and it’s been the best year of my life. 

Despite the numerous hurdles that presented themselves this year, I wouldn’t be who I am today if I never faced them.  I was challenged in ways I never could have imagined.  I saw things I never saw in the flesh before, and felt emotions I didn’t know I had.  I walked alongside those I once ignored, and I felt the presence of the Lord in places I’ve never known.  I was at my most vulnerable this year, but fell upon a plethora of grace and love by my hosts.  And this year I lost someone very important in my life, but gained so many new wonderful people. 

I admit that in the beginning of my experience here, I wasn’t quite sure how what I was doing benefitted the ELCA and the partnership with ELCSA.  But as the time progressed, I began to see how my presence here was impacting those around me.  I began to see how accompaniment was a powerful tool and a way to break down cultural barriers.  And I began to see how relationships with our fellow human beings are the true wealth in life, and without them I am nothing.

I am forever thankful for the love, compassion, grace and hospitality I experienced from my South African hosts.  I cannot express how blessed I feel to have experienced what I have with the people I have.  I was blessed with the most loving and caring host family anyone could ask for.  I was blessed with the most amazing supervisors at work.  I was blessed with a spiritual church parish full of love and praise.  I was blessed with wonderful co-workers who are now simply my brothers and sisters.  And despite these people being “assigned” to me or stumbled upon, I now consider them family.   

I must say goodbye to the beloved country, but thankfully I will say hello to a new life as a more globally formed and informed person.  I have a better understanding of the realities and pains of this world, and know how to live simply.  I was told when I first arrived in Bloemfontein a saying that says, “You cry twice in Bloemfontein; once when you arrive and once when you leave.”  I have not only shared those tears at those times, but many others in between.  I’ve had tears of joy of the wonders of life, but also tears of sadness for so many people in despair.  I cannot, and will not, forget the tears I’ve shed.  I will hold dear to me every happy experience and every painful one, for it made me who I am today.

There is an endless list of the things I’ll miss when I leave this Rainbow Nation.  But I know that despite leaving Africa, Africa will never leave me.  I will carry with me all that I’ve learned this year and will share my experience with all those around me at home.

Thank you South Africa for shaping me into the man I am today.  My heart will always long for your sunsets, clear night skies, hospitality and inherently beautiful essence.  I will always carry your spirit with me.

I Am An African

The following poem was shared with us at YAGM orientation in August, 2010.  But it wasn't until recently that I fully grasped its meaning and found myself deeply connected to it.

I Am An African

By: Wayne Visser

I am an African

Not because I was born there

But because my heart beats with Africa’s

I am an African

Not because my skin is black

But because my mind is engaged by Africa

I am an African

Not because I live on its soil

But because my soul is at home in Africa

When Africa weeps for her children

My cheeks are stained with tears

When Africa honours her elders

My head is bowed in respect

When Africa mourns for her victims

My hands are joined in prayer

When Africa celebrates her triumphs

My feet are alive with dancing

I am an African

For her blue skies take my breath away

And my hope for the future is bright

I am an African

For her people greet me as family

And teach me the meaning of community

I am an African

For her wildness quenches my spirit

And brings me closer to the source of life

When the music of Africa beats in the wind

My blood pulses to its rhythm

And I become the essence of sound

When the colours of Africa dazzle in the sun

My senses drink in its rainbow

And I become the palette of nature

When the stories of Africa echo round the fire

My feet walk in its pathways

And I become the footprints of history

I am an African

Because she is the cradle of our birth

And nurtures an ancient wisdom

I am an African

Because she lives in the world’s shadow

And bursts with a radiant luminosity

I am an African

Because she is the land of tomorrow

And I recognise her gifts as sacred

Jesus Behind Bars

“Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them.” 

Hebrews 13: 3

Recently I had the opportunity to spend a day at the religious center of the Mangaung Correctional Center here in Bloemfontein.  The Mangaung Correctional Center is a maximum security prison and the second largest private prison in the world.  A few months ago I was given a tour of the facility, which I blogged about here:  http://andrewsteelesa.blogspot.com/2011/03/beyond-prison-wall.html

But on my recent visit, I spent the day in the religious center of the prison.  Within five minutes of arriving, I was brought to a general Christian bible study where 15 men were singing before starting the bible study.  I was shown my seat and left alone with the inmates in a classroom-type atmosphere.  After the singing was done and some prayers were said, I was asked to come to the front and talk about myself and share some scripture.  When I asked how much time I had, they said, “You have about 20 minutes.”  Ha!  I almost fell over as I did not anticipate having to give such a talk.  But, as many situations this past year have taught me, I had to think on my feet and make the best of it.  So I got up in front of them and basically gave a sermon.  Giving a sermon to my congregation in South Africa was hard enough, but I really had no idea how to preach to maximum security inmates.  However, the Holy Spirit must have grabbed a hold of me because before I knew it, my 20 minutes were up and I was receiving many smiles, “Amens”, and “Hallelujahs.” 

My second session of the day was another bible study, this time for the Assemblies of God.  This time there were over 30 inmates in attendance, and I was much more of an observer this time.  However, towards the end I was again invited to the front to share some of my story.  They treated me like a guest in their home, and were every courteous the entire time.  The leader of the bible study said towards the end, “Brother Andrew, know that you are family here and your family will always be ours.  We are all family in Christ.”  These were powerful words, especially coming from a man such as him.  After the bible study had ended, every inmate came and shook my hand and thanked me with “God bless,” as they left the room.  It wasn’t until after everyone had exited the room that I remembered I was in a maximum security prison.  The hands I just shook have killed, raped, and robbed other human beings.  These were the most dangerous men in South Africa.  But none of that seemed to hit me, not when the Holy Spirit was so strong in each of them. 

In the afternoon I observed a Zionist Apostolic worship service held outdoors.  This is a religion that combines Christianity with traditional, ancestral beliefs.  There was a large traditional drum, lit candles, and an object made of various string, rope and wool hanging above the candles.  The men would occasionally dance and spin around the candles when singing was going on.  It was fascinating to observe such a service, so unlike anything we have back home in the States.  And as the service went on, they tried to translate into English to accommodate me.  They didn’t have to do this, but they did.  Towards the end of the service, one of the inmates who was translating into English came up to me and started talking with me.  He explained to me what was happening in the service, the history of their church and what the leaders wished for me to know.  He continued to come and assist me in following the service.  He showed me some of their documents, which showed that they were recognized as an independent church and registered with the national church.  It was amazing to see how these inmates had created their own church and gone so far as to register it officially. 

The singing was beautiful, and I couldn’t help but tap my foot and clap my hands.  There was such passion in the voices of the men who preached, and so much enthusiasm for God in their bodies.  As the service came closer to an end, the same inmate who had been helping me had a conversation with me that I’ll never forget.  He asked where I was from, where in South Africa I’ve been, and other basic questions.  He then started to talk about his life in prison.  He told me that most of the inmates worshiping there had found God once inside the prison.  That he, along with the others, lived lives “on the outside” they were ashamed of.  He spoke eloquently of how they have changed and become new people.  He assured me that if and when he would be out, he would live a life with God as its central point.  After exchanging more words and dialogue, we stood up and embraced each other.  Here I was, hugging a man who has created such a horrific crime that he is in a maximum security prison.  But we shared the love of Christ and it was so strong that I was never afraid.  As the service was winding down, we said our goodbyes and he leaned over and said, “I want to leave you with some scripture.  Please don’t ever forget it.  Jeremiah 29: 11-12.”  I quickly wrote it down on a piece of paper.  When I got home that night, the first thing I did was look up the verses I was told by the inmate.  

“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come pray to me, I will hear you.”  

Jeremiah 29: 11-12

I sat there dumbfounded by the day I had just experienced.  I had spent the day with some of the worst sinners on Earth.  But these men are humans, and their remorse and dedication to their faith was inspiring.  It was one of the most spiritually fulfilling days of my life.  I could feel the presence of Jesus and the Holy Spirit amongst the prisoners.  I could see how their lives were no longer surrounding crime, but now surrounding God.  For people who are forever judged by others, they still welcomed me with warm hospitality.  It is fair to say that Jesus is behind bars.  He lives in each and every one of the inmates in the prison.  He is the strength they receive each morning to wake up and the peace they need to sleep at night.  I pray that God’s grace will shower the inmates with the peace, comfort and repentance that they will need.  I will always have the memories of the bible studies and services from that day.  And I will never forget two verses in the book of Jeremiah that, for some, is the hope and strength to live each and every day. 

10 Suggestons for Helping your YAGM Return Home

Written by Andrea Roske-Metcalfe, the Mexico Country Coordinator

1. Don’t ask the question, “So how was it?” Your YAGM cannot function in one-word answers right now, especially ones intended to sum up their entire year’s experience, and being asked to do so may cause them to start laughing or crying uncontrollably. Ask more specific questions, like “Who was your closest friend?” or “What did you do in your free time?” or “What was the food like?” or “Tell me about your typical day.”

2. If you wish to spend time with your YAGM, let them take the lead on where to go and what to do. Recognize that seemingly mundane rituals, like grocery shopping or going to the movies, may be extremely difficult for someone who has just spent a year living without a wide array of material goods. One former YAGM, for example, faced with the daunting task of choosing a tube of toothpaste from the 70-odd kinds available, simply threw up in the middle of the drugstore.

3. Expect some feelings of jealousy and resentment, especially if your YAGM lived with a host family. Relationships that form during periods of uncertainty and vulnerability (the first few months in a foreign country, for example) form quickly and deeply. The fact that your YAGM talks non-stop about their friends and family from their country of service doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, too. It simply means that they’re mourning the loss (at least in part) of the deep, meaningful, important relationships that helped them to survive and to thrive during this last year. In this regard, treat them as you would anyone else mourning a loss.

4. You may be horrified by the way your YAGM dresses; both because their clothes are old and raggedy and because they insist on wearing the same outfit three days in a row. Upon encountering their closet at home, returning YAGMs tend to experience two different emotions: (1) jubilation at the fact that they can stop rotating the same 2 pairs of jeans and 4 shirts, and (2) dismay at the amount of clothing they own, and yet clearly lived without for an entire year. Some YAGMs may deal with this by giving away entire car loads of clothing and other items to people in need. Do not “save them from themselves” by offering to drive the items to the donation center, only to hide them away in your garage. Let your YAGM do what they need to do. Once they realize, after the fact, that you do indeed need more than 2 pairs of jeans and 4 shirts to function in professional American society, offer to take them shopping. Start with the Goodwill and the Salvation Army; your YAGM may never be able to handle Macys again.

5. Asking to see photos of your YAGM’s year in service is highly recommended, providing you have an entire day off from work. Multiply the number of photos you take during a week’s vacation, multiply that by 52, and you understand the predicament. If you have an entire day, fine. If not, take a cue from number 1 above, and ask to see specific things, like photos of your YAGM’s host family, or photos from holiday celebrations. Better yet, set up a number of “photo dates,” and delve into a different section each time. Given the high percentage of people whose eyes glaze over after the first page of someone else’s photos, and the frustration that can cause for someone bursting with stories to tell, this would be an incredible gift.

6. At least half the things that come out of your YAGM’s mouth for the first few months will begin with, “In Mexico/Slovakia/South Africa/etc…” This will undoubtedly begin to annoy the crap out of you after the first few weeks. Actually saying so, however, will prove far less effective than listening and asking interested questions. Besides, you can bet that someone else will let slip exactly what you’re thinking, letting you off the hook.

7. That said, speak up when you need to! Returning YAGMs commonly assume that almost nothing has changed in your lives since they left. (This happens, in part, because you let them, figuring that their experiences are so much more exciting than yours, and therefore not sharing your own.) Be assertive enough to create the space to share what has happened in your life during the last year.

8. Recognize that living in a very simple environment with very few material belongings changes people. Don’t take it personally if your YAGM seems horrified by certain aspects of the way you live – that you shower every day, for example, or that you buy a new radio instead of duct-taping the broken one back together. Recognize that there probably are certain things you could or should change (you don’t really need to leave the water running while you brush your teeth, do you?), but also that adjusting to what may now feel incredibly extravagant will simply take awhile. Most YAGMs make permanent changes toward a simpler lifestyle. Recognize this as a good thing.

9. Perhaps you had hopes, dreams, and aspirations for your YAGM that were interrupted by their year of service. If so, you may as well throw them out the window. A large percentage of returning YAGMs make significant changes to their long-term goals and plans. Some of them have spent a year doing something they never thought they’d enjoy, only to find themselves drawn to it as a career. Others have spent a year doing exactly what they envisioned doing for the rest of their lives, only to find that they hate it. Regardless of the direction your YAGM takes when they return…rejoice! This year hasn’t changed who they are; it has simply made them better at discerning God’s call on their lives. (Note: Some YAGMs spend their year of service teaching English, some are involved in human rights advocacy, others work with the elderly or disabled, and at least one spent his year teaching British youth to shoot with bows and arrows. The results of this phenomenon, therefore, can vary widely.)

10. Go easy on yourself, and go easy on your YAGM. Understand that reverse culture shock is not an exact science, and manifests itself differently in each person. Expect good days and bad days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (including of the pharmaceutical variety) if necessary. Pray. Laugh. Cry. This too shall pass, and in the end, you’ll both be the richer for it.

Will You Be My Friend?

Recently I was grabbing a quick snack at a place in town when I experienced something quite common in South Africa but unfamiliar to the United States.  A young lady sitting at the table to my left asked if the letter I was reading was a song.  I explained that it was simply a letter someone had written me and that I wasn’t talented enough to write a song as long as that.  She then asked if she could sit with me, and I didn’t see a reason why that would be a problem.  After scooting over to my table, she asked my name and where I was from.  (My accent is quickly noticed by everyone in South Africa, although not everyone can pinpoint its origin!)  So after the initial points of the conversation, she asked me something that used to startle me a bit earlier in my term here. 

She said, “Will you be my friend?” 

“Of course I’ll be your friend,” I said with a smile.  Her face lit up and she seemed elated that I agreed to be her friend.  I knew that our newfound friendship would only consist of the immediate conversation we were having, but for her it meant more.  It showed that we could accept each other and enjoy each other’s company.  Our conversation only lasted about 15 minutes, but she opened up and told me things she may not have told me if I didn’t say I’d be her friend.  The trust was established, and even though I was a white man she found it easy to confide in me as her new friend.  As we both went our separate ways, I couldn’t help but smile at the beauty of the acceptance in people’s hearts here. 

I have been asked “will you be my friend?” by strangers a number of times this year.  Mainly, the question comes from children I work with or come across during my experiences.  This question coincides with how most of the children I work with act.  The children in this part of the world are not shy and not afraid of “strangers.”  We in the United States are taught from an early age the “stranger=danger” scenarios, and rarely will go up to people we don’t know.  But here, children will run up to you and give you the biggest hug they can muster.  They will grab you hand, walk with you and ask you if you’ll be their friend.  Sometimes all they can say is “Papa!” or “Mama!” when they greet you.  This is because the sense of community here is so strong, and such a part of the people’s foundation.  Again, it plays to the concept of Ubuntu, where “people are people through other people.”  It doesn’t matter if you grow up in the township or rural area, everyone around you is considered family.  That is why the children call any person older than them “papa” and “mama.”  It’s why the children are unabashed to literally run up to you and embrace you in a loving hug.  It’s why holding hands with someone you don’t know, even a white American, is simply part of life.  It’s why everyone is accepted for who they are. 

The powerful sense of community here is something we can all learn from.  Instead of growing up in fear of the dangers that others may bring, why not grow up loving and accepting everyone in your life?  The children here don’t see race or economic status, they see people as people.  Let us learn from this and start asking the question, “will you be my friend?” a little more often.

Breaking Barriers By Being

17 years after the end of Apartheid, there are still very strong cultural barriers throughout South Africa.  As a YAGM volunteer, you are immediately thrust into the middle of them all.  During my time here, I have certainly participated in many “barrier breaking” activities, but most have come by way of simply being, not doing.

Being a YAGM volunteer means that you are not allowed any driving privileges.  Sure, this can seem annoying at times and take away some of that independence we have cherished since teenage years as Americans.  However, my rides in the taxis have produced some of more fruitful experiences during my time in South Africa.  The taxis in South Africa are very different from the ones back in the States.  Here, the taxis are really minibuses, or “15 seaters” as we commonly refer to them back home.  Here, you squeeze in to capacity (and sometimes far over capacity!) and head to one common destination.  You get off where you want, and you have to know the lingo and hand signs to get where you want to go.  The taxis are quite cheap, and virtually travel everywhere and anywhere.  Despite the common use and convenience, the taxis are rarely ridden by white South Africans.  Often referred to as the “black taxis,” many white South Africans would rather walk than ride in them.  So, whenever I step on to a taxi, the heads turn.  People stare in amazement and for many I may be the first white person they’ve ever shared a taxi with.  But shortly after aboard, I try to start a conversation with whoever is seated next to me.  And the conversations have usually been wonderful, rich, fulfilling ones in which I learn a lot.  I see a lot of people smile when they see me on the taxis, perhaps enjoying the fact that race is not the issue it once was.  And all this by simply being.

My host family lives in a very safe, comfortable suburban neighborhood called Fauna.  The streets are generally quiet and I spend a lot of time outside with my little host brother and sister.  Down the street there is a little neighborhood shopping area, with a mini supermarket, a fish & chips place, a butchery, a dvd rental and other retail stores.  So whenever I am feeling for a walk or need something quickly, I head down to the shops.  As is often the case, my host brother or sister will accompany on my walk, (they do this because they usually get a chocolate or some ice cream out of it for keeping me company!)  We tend to make these walks quite often.  Each time we make the walk, we get stared at as if we had five heads and twenty arms.  Unfortunately, the stares became so intense that my host brother and sister started to refuse to accompany me because they felt so uncomfortable.  As unfair and rude as it is, it proves that there is still a stigma surrounding people of different races spending time together.  I can only smile and laugh it off, for I know that our presence by just walking is making people think and contemplate the realities of the new South Africa.  We are slowly showing people that it’s no big deal for a white person and black person to walk together.  And all this by simply being.

Either for work or leisure, I spend a lot of time in downtown Bloemfontein.  Covered with street vendors and markets selling spices, produce and other miscellaneous goods, downtown Bloemfontein has the hustle and bustle of a true African city.  Bloem has character, and it’s something you need to experience firsthand to understand.  And it’s because of this lively atmosphere that I sometimes just go for a stroll downtown.  Now, when I am walking around downtown, I am the only white person in sight.  I don’t get stared at as much as in other places, perhaps because it’s a city and people are more focused on their next destination or where the best avocado dealer is.  But I certainly get the looks.  I probably get the most astonished looks when I purchase something from the markets, or buy some of the food from the street vendors.  There have been many times when I’ll bite into a fat cake (doughnut like bread ball sold almost everywhere,) freshly purchased on the street just to have people literally stop and stare at me.  I’ve even had people tell me that they’ve never seen a white person eat something that they’ve just witnessed me happily devour.  And despite hearing from many people how “dangerous and unsafe” downtown Bloemfontein is, I have never had a problem.  Although I am just a drop in the ocean of people in downtown Bloem, I cannot help but think that my presence there triggers people’s thoughts about race, acceptance and life.   And all this by simply being.

After spending over ten months in places and situations that are against the racial norm of the area, I see how powerful a presence can simply be.  And then I think, how present have I been back home?  How have I gone about my life in the cities and towns back in the U.S.?  I was not unlike many white South Africans.  But my hope is that after this year, I will continue to “simply be” amongst people unlike myself.   

I’ve learned that you don’t have to do something tangible or big to make a difference.  You simply have to be in ways you’ve never been.

South African Slang Words

In order for many of you to understand me when I return home, I thought it would be a good idea to list some of the commonly used slang words from South Africa.  A more comprehensive list can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_South_African_slang_words, but the following are ones you will most likely hear me utter once or twice:

bakkie - a utility truck.pick-up truck, now a mainstream word in South African English. Can also refer to a small bowl.

biltong - dried meat, similar to jerky (a mainstream word)

boerewors - spicy sausage (Afrikaans) farmer-sausage, used as a mainstream word in South African English

bokkie - (diminutive of bok, literally meaning "goat" or "doe") a popular term of endearment, comparable to "sweetheart", "honey", etc.

braai - to barbecue (from braaivleis), used a mainstream word in South African English

china - a friend; as in the greeting howzit china (likely origin: Cockney rhyming slang "China plate" (meaning "my mate"); from early British immigrants.

lekker - nice, good, great (lit. tasty)

sies - expression of disgust, disappointment, annoyance, as in: ag, sies, man

eish! - an interjection expressing resignation

gogo - grandmother, elderly woman (from Zulu, ugogo

hhayibo! - wow! (from Zulu, 'definitely not')

laduma! - a popular cheer at soccer matches, "he scores!"

Mzansi - South Africa (uMzantsi in Xhosa means "south")

ubuntu - compassion or kindness, humanity

yebo - Zulu meaning yes

wena - Zulu meaning "you". Commonly used in a sentence "Haw wena!"

chop - idiot, doos

just now, sometime in the near future, not necessarily immediately. Expresses an intention to act soon, but not necessarily immediately. (as in 20–90 minutes time)

now now - an immediate but not literal declaration of impending action, may be past or future tense. From the Afrikaans expression "nou nou". (as in 5–60 minutes)

isit - (pronounced: \izit\) the words "is" and "it" put together. Short term for "Is that so?" (For example: John: "Bra, I just found out I have a million dollars!" Charles: "Isit?"; or: John: "Bru, you would not believe how amazing it felt to footskate in front of all those people." Charles: "Isit?") Also, it can mean "really?"

shebeen - illegal drinking-establishment